Seven Ways to Turn Up Sensation (No Gadgets Required)

Sometimes sex is fine, but you want it to feel like more. More sensitive, more present, more of that full-body buzz. Before you reach for anything with a battery, it's worth knowing that most of what drives sensation is already in your hands: time, blood flow, attention and a little creativity.

Here are seven ways to turn things up, no gadgets required.

1. Take the long way

This is the single biggest upgrade, and it's free. Arousal isn't a switch. It builds. As you get turned on, blood flows to the genitals, tissue becomes more sensitive, and natural lubrication increases. The clitoris, which has thousands of nerve endings, swells and becomes more responsive.

When things move quickly, you miss a lot of that build-up. Try deliberately slowing down. Spend longer kissing. Touch everywhere except the obvious places for a while. Many women need at least 15 to 20 minutes of arousal to feel fully ready, and the payoff in sensation is usually worth every minute. We go deeper in Foreplay Matters: The Science of Slowing Down.

2. Get out of your head and into your breath

It's hard to feel much when you're thinking about your to-do list, how you look, or whether you're “taking too long.” Your breath is the quickest way back into your body.

Try this: breathe in slowly through your nose for a count of four, then out through your mouth for six. Do it a few times at the start, and again whenever you notice yourself drifting. Let your belly soften. Shallow, held breath tends to keep the body tense. Slow, full breaths help it relax and feel.

Some people also find it helps to make a little noise. Sighing or moaning on the exhale keeps the breath moving and can make sensations feel bigger.

3. Play with temperature

Contrast wakes up the skin. A few easy ideas:

• Run your hands under warm water before touching your partner, or hold a mug of tea for a minute first.
• Take turns tracing an ice cube along the neck, inner wrists, back of the knees or stomach. Keep it moving and keep it external.
• Sip something warm, then kiss.
• Use a product made for a temperature sensation. Our Bluum oil is designed to feel cool, then warm, and our water-based Hydro Glide Sensation spray uses peppermint and a little capsaicin for a tingle. Start with a small amount, and skip sensation products on broken or irritated skin.

4. Switch up the kind of touch

Skin gets used to the same stimulation and starts to tune it out. Changing the pressure, speed and texture of touch keeps things fresh.

• Go featherlight with fingertips, then firmer with a flat palm.
• Use different things: your hair, your lips, a silk scarf, the back of your nails.
• Pause. Stopping for a moment and then starting again can make the next touch feel stronger.
• Explore beyond the usual spots. The neck, ears, inner thighs, lower back and nipples are all sensitive for many people.

5. Use enough lube

Friction dulls sensation and can turn pleasure into discomfort fast. A good lubricant lets touch glide, which usually means you can feel more and for longer. This is true for any kind of touch, not just penetration.

If you're using latex condoms, choose water-based. If not, an oil like our Intimate Oil gives silky, long-lasting glide. Not sure which suits you? Read Water, Oil or Silicone?

6. Build up and back off

Sometimes called edging, this means getting close to orgasm, easing off, then building again. Each wave can make sensation more intense, and many people find the eventual orgasm feels stronger.

It works alone or with a partner. The key is communication. If you're with someone, agree on a word or signal for “slow down” and “keep going.” It also takes the focus off reaching the finish line, which, ironically, often makes it easier to get there.

7. Get to know your pelvic floor

Your pelvic floor muscles contract during orgasm, and being aware of them can help you feel more. A healthy pelvic floor is one that can both contract and fully relax.

Try gently squeezing and releasing these muscles (the ones you'd use to stop the flow of pee) during arousal, paying attention to the sensation. If your pelvic floor is often tense, or sex is painful, Kegels might not be right for you. A pelvic floor physical therapist can tell you what your muscles need. Learn more in Your Pelvic Floor and Sex.

A few bonus ideas

• Set the mood with your senses. Low light, a playlist you love, clean sheets, a warm room. Comfort helps the body let go.
• Make a ritual. Some couples like a few drops of our Tantric Tincture as a “we're slowing down now” moment before time together.
• Take turns. One person gives, one receives, no reciprocating for ten minutes. It's surprising how much more you notice when you're not multitasking.
• Talk. Saying what feels good, in the moment, is the quickest route to more of it.

What if you still don't feel much?

Lots of things affect sensation: stress, sleep, hormones, some medications (including certain antidepressants and birth control), and conditions that affect nerves or blood flow. If you've noticed a real change, or you're struggling to feel pleasure or reach orgasm, it's worth talking to a provider. You might also find our guide on difficulty reaching orgasm helpful.

Ready to experiment? Our intimacy collection has a few things that pair nicely with the ideas above.